Dermatologist Visit

This one is a sensitive one, both physically and mentally hahah I swam, did Jr. Lifeguards and played water polo for my whole childhood/teen years. And then coached swimming and polo for another 10 years. All things that are outside in direct sunlight. There were some days where I would have the biggest cold sores on my lips from so much sun and my nose would be the brightest pink you have ever seen. I never thought twice about any of it.

Now looking back on it I literally spent 4+ hours a day out in the sun everyday since I was like 9 years old. Sometimes I would remember to lather up with sunscreen and some days I would forget or just apply once and be done for the whole day. Not good.

I went last week to see a new dermatologist because in the past, my primary care doctor hasn’t given it enough attention (like barely looks at my skin with my clothes on). I had a dermatologist two years ago and she was nice but I still didn’t feel like she was doing it justice.

The new dermatologist is legit. I got naked to my underwear and was under this HUGE swiveling light and she looked at every square inch of my body. She wasn’t the most talkative or friendliest but I was SO much more thankful that she was actually doing her job to the extent that I expected. All she said was, “it’s not good I’ll tell you that, but it is also not terrible.”. The main reason I went in was because there are a bunch of scab-like growths on my forehead that have never been there before and hurt when I brush against them or put lotion on. I knew they weren’t good but I kept putting it off because I am honestly horrified/embarrassed that I didn’t take better care of my skin until now.

It is a weird feeling when you look at yourself and you realize that you have dome something to your body that you can’t reverse. My skin is not the same, and I know as you age things change, but this is like on another level. And I am sad about it, I don’t like looking or feeling all the harsh scabs and unevenness. But I went in and am trying to make it not get any worse!

The final report… For my forehead, they are precancerous cells. I had previously gotten them frozen off but she said that is basically like trying to put out a brush fire with a garden hose. So she prescribed a cream that is basically chemotherapy for your skin! So gnarly! I have to apply it once in the morning and once at night for two weeks. And I have three moles on my back and two on my belly that she wants to biopsy in January. From there we will get results and game plan for what is left.

Let’s just say Kade has been shielded from the sun in almost every instance I can control. I feel like a crazy lady but I do not want him to have the same fucked up skin I have. And if I can help prevent it, I will for as long as I possibly can. I am imagining myself when he is 16 going out to the pool running after him with sunscreen… DON’T CARE.


Love, Tasman

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