Kade turned nine months yesterday! I am tripping out on that… Nine months in, nine months out… What a glorious time! I put him down for a nap and was like dear heavens this time nine months ago I was waiting in the passenger seat of my husband’s car clenching onto the door while having a contraction waiting for french fries outside McDonald’s. Oh what a day! I’ll start from the beginning…
About two days before this I had gone for my weekly doctor’s appointment hoping they would say oh you are so ready it should be this weekend! But instead they said what they always say, “could be tonight or could be in two weeks”. Two weeks, you have to be f**king kidding me. There was no way I was waiting two weeks. After seeing the defeat on my face the nurse kindly asked if I wanted a sweep. I had heard of membrane sweeps from reading about it online and a fellow mom friend asking my mom (a nurse practitioner) about it. And I wanted one. For those of you who don’t know what a membrane sweep is… It is when the doctor inserts their finger and sweeps between the uterus and the amniotic sac. It can be painful but can also replace being induced by medications. Everyone has their own thoughts on this but I was READY so I did it.
That night I cried on the couch because I was certain that was the most traumatic experience I had endured and how could birth be worse than that. Over the next two days I grew increasingly frustrated because I had gone through that pain and saw no results. And then… Sunday in the wee hours of the morning I woke up to some mild contractions. I had been having them pretty much daily from month eight on so I wasn’t too concerned. But I kept waking up and thinking I needed to go poop. And I did, like 4 times. But I was like maybe the curry I had the night before really just got me going? hahah not to be too graphic but yeah.
At about 6:00 am I woke Kyle up and said I think it is happening but I didn’t know for sure. Bless his soul, he legit thought your water had to break in order for you to be in labor. He got up and showered and started getting things ready as I started timing the contractions. They were pretty consistent for awhile but as they got stronger they became inconsistent. I was just getting mind fucked. We walked around the neighborhood for a few laps trying to gauge whether it was time or not.
I finally got so annoyed I suggested we go do laundry at my parents house. The second we got everything ready to go I had a life altering contraction, one of the ones where you realize… oh so that is what everyone is talking about and oh fuck here we go.
Kyle and I were hungry and I knew the second I checked in I wouldn’t be able to eat anything. We decided on McDonald’s because it was on the way and was open. I would have loved me some In-N-Out powered strength for birth but alas they were closed. When we rolled up it was like 10:45 am and they hadn’t started making french fries yet… so Kyle looked at me and said can we wait? I am not having a contraction so I am all chill, yeah totally let’s wait for those golden crispy straws of potato goodness (the only reason one goes to McDonald’s let’s be real) So we are waiting and I am like oh no here comes another one and I am just full clenched in the car like go go go go but I know we need food and finally it passes and I am like if I have anymore of those we are out. Thankfully we got the goods and were on our way!
Parked in the parking garage and walked down three flights of stairs and went uhhh we forgot my ID in the car. So I am on the side of the parking garage hunched over in a contraction, people mulling about, waiting for Kyle to run up to the car and back. Finally we make it up to Labor Triage and they hook me up to all the machines to track my contractions and they check my dilation to see if I can be admitted. This part it torture… When you are having contractions you want to be up moving, swaying, rocking and you have to LAY IN THE BED for 20 freaking minutes until they can tell if you are ready to be admitted. Every time a contraction came I looked at Kyle and said I cannot go home, what the hell are we going to do at home? Finally, the nurse came in and said that I was going to be admitted and that it was happening!!! Yippieeeee!!
We were set up in our delivery room which had an epic view of the ocean! I was like oh this is nice, looking out at the beauty and then another contraction hit and nothing mattered anymore… I swear there is nothing like that pain. My nurse was nice but when you are in that much pain sometimes nothing and no one can help. I remember she kept calling me “mama” and I was like what the hell, please stop calling me that, I have a name! “you are so strong mama”, “keep it up mama”. GOODBYE. Sorry, I know she was just trying to help but I was on another level and could not vibe haha
I ended up getting some fentanyl, which made the pain a bit less but I felt like the ceiling was tracking? I don’t know how to explain it, not spinning just uncomfortable. AND I was still feeling the contractions so I needed the epidural. The epidural was a piece of cake and I was ready to PAR-TAAAY after that. I have never felt such relief in my whole life. I just laid around for the next few hours visiting with my parents and husband, enjoying the views and chatting while I continued to dilate.
I was ready to start pushing at about 8:30 pm. When I started to push the nurse asked Kyle if he wanted to watch a contraction so he could see the head. All he said was “oh my gosh that is a head with hair”. I pushed for about 45 minutes and had our healthy, beautiful baby boy in our arms. When you see births in movies the mother is always screaming and there is a lot of commotion. My experience was the opposite of that… I felt relaxed and like everything was under control the whole time.
In retrospect, the actual labor was a blink of an eye compared to carrying him for nine months and then recovering. I hyped up the experience SO much by watching countless videos of birth experiences and wish I hadn’t because it gave me a lot of anxiety.
My advice for expecting moms would be to go with the flow. There are so many variables and every woman is going to have a different experience, from choosing a natural birth to getting an epidural to having a c-section. Or going through all three in one labor! And all the little things in between… unwelcome visitors, fainting partners, hospital food and more!